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STILL......

Dearest Katriel

Do you ever wonder if its possible that you are wrong in what you believe in?

Like, your are wrong in your methods?

Could you be wrong in your loving of God?

Can you actually be wrong in how you serve Him?

The obvious answer should be yes. Its possible.

And that, friends, is the ultimate test of convictions that I constantly deal with, at least once in a while. And its never a pleasant exercise each time. Lest of it, this time around.


Regardless, its necessary. It must be done. 

When I met Jesus (Way past after I got born again), He was all I ever wanted. He was all my heart desired. He represented life to me. He stood for All that my heart wanted.

It didn't occur to me to have methods in how to love Him. It didn't occur to me to plan on how to love people. It came natural.
Grace found me, and sometimes, I wish I had held on to it a little longer.

Cause then some growing up (A really splash of the worlds reality), creeped in. 


All of a sudden, I desired to do more, and it never just seemed enough.
All of a sudden, to simply be in His Presence and adore Him supposedly go formulas.

My heart cried out. For a while, it had been normal. For a while, it seemed we of course must grow up- My question, do you cease to be Gods Baby?

Reading through the Gods general lives, I see people just sold out to God - what is it that I am missing?

sometimes I cry out, Lord, can you hear my heart beat? Can you hear me in this throng of religion not so veiled as religion?
Can you hear me in the grown up ness body of your Bride, Jesus?

No? 

Cause you are still all I ever wanted. 
You are still all that my heart longs for. 
You are still the definition of Existence.
I still never want to live without you. 
I sure as heck dont want to go through the motions, without your ALL consuming passion inside me(I quoted Matthew West on here - But I get him).

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